i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Randomize
