dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
