Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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