we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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