I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize