Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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