I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
