We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
