Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
