capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
