im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
