So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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