I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case