If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep