I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
about cumming, not toast
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.