It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.