What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize