sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I want her autograph on my taint
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
