And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
