her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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