Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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