Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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