Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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