god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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