i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
