I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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