Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
