"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
