Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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