We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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