whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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