ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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