If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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