okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I did not marry a roomba.
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