Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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