I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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