I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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