could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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