he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
