Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
