Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
