oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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