I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
