whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
