The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
