No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
