the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i came on her dog
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Someone signed my nipple.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
