i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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