Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
