I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You don't make any sense
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