The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
