I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
