there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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