I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
