apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
