Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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