That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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