i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
