It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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