Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
