Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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