yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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