Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
