i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
